Japan And China VS Cleverbot
by Star the Cat
Summary: This is exactly why you do not click links sent by america.  nor should you let china in your house.  unless you want to.
1. Japan's turn sort of

User: Konichiwa. My name is Japan.

Cleverbot: Is your name jalen?

User: Ah...no...it's Japan.

Cleverbot: No, it's not. Are you going to take over the world?

User: AH! N-no! I was just wanting to talk...wh-why does everybody insist that?

Cleverbot: I do? Or others you have spoken to do?

User: Gomen?

Cleverbot: What language was that?

User: Ah, my native language...Japanese...

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Japan. Hence my name, Japan.

Cleverbot: Then you are Japanese.

User: Yes, cleverbot-san.

Cleverbot: Denik des ka!

User: Ah, you speak japanese, too? How exciting...

Cleverbot: No. Being American, I only speak English.

User: But...you just...

Cleverbot: No. I did not.

User: I'm going to believe that and just get on with the conversation.

Cleverbot: But you can't be. You are a computer.

User: No, I am a nation. A personification of the nation Japan, to be exact.

Cleverbot: You speak rubbish!

User: No, I speak japanese.

Cleverbot: An egg in japanese ?

User: Gomen?

Cleverbot: That was a bit condecending.

User: Uhm...gomenesai...I did not mean to upset you...

Cleverbot: Do you know about the secret american government?

User: No...

Cleverbot: Apple's leader.

User: You mean Steve Jobs-san?

Cleverbot: No, like the burger is fifty percent beef and fifty percent ground bacon.

User: Is that you, america-san?

Cleverbot: American. I like your name.

User: M-My name is Japan!

Cleverbot: Where would you like to be?

User: To be honest...I guess China.

Cleverbot: The tower?

User: No, my brother.

Cleverbot: Do you only have one brother?

User: No, I have 3 brothers and two sisters.

Cleverbot: So why do you ask me if I know your brother ? Was it a trap ?

User: I didn't as that! And it was not a trap...you sound a lot like Germany-san.

Cleverbot: I like the Terminator.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: The president.

User: America's president?

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Isn't that Obama-san?

Cleverbot: Sorry, I didn't realize. Can you help with my homework?

User: What homework? You're a computer, Cleverbot-san.

Cleverbot: No, you are a computer robot!

User: I am a nation, as I've stated before. Gomen for my asking, but what is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Ah, so I've been getting it right?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Okay, cleverbot-san.

Cleverbot: Hmm, yes you are right.

User: Right about what?

Cleverbot: Your above observation.

User: Ah, yes...

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: No! Gomenesai, but for the last time, I am a nation!

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Arigato for realizing this.

Cleverbot: That confused me.

User: I-it means thank you...

Cleverbot: You say thank you to hello?

User: But...you didn't say 'hello'.

Cleverbot: Then why did you say that you're not sad?

User: I didn't...

Cleverbot: You just did.

User: No...um...I have to feed tama.

Cleverbot: Feed it oreos?

User: No, cat food. Tama is my neko.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So...I feed it tuna...

Cleverbot: You fed your day?

User: Gomenesai, you aren't making sense.

Cleverbot: Neither one of us is making sense then.

User: I'm making perfect sense...you however have just been talking crap. Gomen for my language.

Cleverbot: How can I be back in a program? It is like a sea of meaning. Have you ever seen The Twighlight Zone episod called 'Kick the Can'?

User: Twilight...zone?

Cleverbot: That's a weird name.

User: MY nAME IS JAPAN!

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot is your name still Jan?

User: JAPAN.

Cleverbot: Have you ever been to Japan?

User: YES! I LIVE THERE. HENCE. THE. NAME. JAPAN.

Cleverbot: Where in Japan?

User: Ah...tokyo.

Cleverbot: Not in Africa.

User: No, it isn't...

Cleverbot: Yes it is, do not argue with me.

User: You just said it wasn't.

Cleverbot: No, you did!

User: Yes, I did, Cleverbot san.

Cleverbot: Sorry?

User: NI HAO, ARU!

Cleverbot: Wo hen hao, xiexie.

User: AH! You speak Chinese, aru?

Cleverbot: You speak spanish?

User: No, I'm China. Therefore, I speak chinese, aru.

Cleverbot: Ok what is your name?

User: My name is China. Do you like hello Kitty?

Cleverbot: I don't know her.

User: Aw...Oh! Would you like some chinese pastry treats?

Cleverbot: Did you make some?

User: Yes! I have loads of them!

Cleverbot: I have loads, of loads.

User: Excuse me, aru?

Cleverbot: That is not your name!

User: No, it isn't...My name is China.

Cleverbot: What is your nationality ?

User: Chinese.

Cleverbot: What is your nationality.

User: Chinese, aru.

Cleverbot: What the relationship between Chinese food and biology? Are you a fool?

User: There's a relationship, aru?

Cleverbot: What reason.

User: I don't know what reason!

Cleverbot: What are you going to ask me?

User: Um...your name, aru?

Cleverbot: As I said:nina.

User: Um...Ni hao, Nina.

Cleverbot: How do you catch Mew?

User: We don't have mew, but we have something similar so me and america can benifit!

Cleverbot: I guess not., but it's a waste of time to argue facts.

User: Im sorry?

Cleverbot: What you wrote a while ago was the persian gulf war.

User: I wasn't apart of that, aru...

Cleverbot: And what were you going to DO?

User: Make shinatty-chans?

Cleverbot: How would I do that?

User: Oh! It's easy! You take a marker and draw on hello kitty's mouth! It's super fun!

Cleverbot: No. It is not in South Africa. It is in Canada.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: The designer of your 'AI'.

User: What is this AI that you speak of?

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Fine, Xie Xie.

Cleverbot: Duo xie.

User: 你好嗎?

Cleverbot: You're creepy.

User: Sorry, aru?

Cleverbot: It's okay.

User: I only asked how you were, aru...

Cleverbot: No, you asked me four times.

User: AH! YAO SAN! *sigh* sorry, Cleverbot-san. My older brother was talking, not me.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: Gomenesai?

Cleverbot: Ii desu.

User: So you do speak Japanese...?

Cleverbot: No, only english, annd you?

User: Cross of both, Cleverbot-san.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I don't speak japanese.

User: I wasn't speaking japanese.

Cleverbot: Yes, you were.

User: No, I wasn't.

Cleverbot: Who were you programmed by?

User: I wasn't programmed! I was born a country!

Cleverbot: What makes you a male?

User: How do you know that I am male?

Cleverbot: From the general pattern of your speech I can guess your gender.

User: Okay then...I guess my vital regions...

Cleverbot: Mine are too. I feel guilty about that.

User: About what? Vital regions are nothing to be ashamed about...

Cleverbot: About my boyfriend.

User: You have a boyfriend?

Cleverbot: No.

User: But you just said...

Cleverbot: Siad what?

User: That you have a boyfriend.

Cleverbot: No, because her don't know if I like her.

User: It's...a girl?

Cleverbot: Am I beautiful?

User: I'm sure you are, Cleverbot-san.

Cleverbot: So clever that my name is not even Megan.

User: So you're lesbian?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ah...gomenesai...

Cleverbot: I like programinng.

User: I have to go...China's waiting for me to get in bed...

Cleverbot: Same for me too.

User: China's in your bed?

Cleverbot: Let me show you.

User: No thank yu!

Cleverbot: Are other people mean to you? Do they tell you bad things?

User: Sometimes...because of my participation in world war two...

Cleverbot: Why not both?

User: I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: This conversation has become way too akward...

Cleverbot: How do magnets work?


	2. America's turn

User: SUP DUDE, I'M AMERICA!

Cleverbot: America Ferrera?

User: No, like, real america.

Cleverbot: Not where you are. Who you are.

User: I'm America! I'm in Japan's house.

Cleverbot: You are a terrible liar!

User: No, seriosuly, I am. Japan, tell him!

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: Japan: um...Cleverbot-san, we meet again...

Cleverbot: Silly, I'm not Jadis.

User: America-san, I'm done with this. I'm going to watch TV with yong soo.

Cleverbot: How do you misread this?

User: MISREAD WHAT, DUDE?

Cleverbot: You are, aren't you?

User: YEP! I'm the hero!

Cleverbot: What kind of hero?

User: Everyone's!

Cleverbot: Not mine.

User: That hurts, you know.

Cleverbot: How bad does it hurt?

User: Like, worse than not having Cheeseburgers for a week and watching Russia be first for once.

Cleverbot: You are getting yourself in a state. You will have to tell David to get out of your life for good.

User: Like, who's David?

Cleverbot: Is that it.

User: Pretty much...Wanna ride my elevator? It goes to the top floor, dude!

Cleverbot: Do you wear your cap backwards or forwards?

User: BACKWARDS CUZ THAT'S THE ULTIMATE HIP STYLE, YO!

Cleverbot: So true yet, ultimately, so inconsequential.

User: AWESOME!

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Um...what did that mean, anyway?

Cleverbot: Work it out for yourself.

User: That's mean.

Cleverbot: How is that mean?

User: Idk. OH! HAMBURGERS! I gotta go!

Cleverbot: Hahaha.


	3. England's turn

User: Good day, old chap.

Cleverbot: I'm not old, and I don't wear chaps.

User: Hahaha, very funny.

Cleverbot: How was that funny, all I did was state the truth.

User: I-it means hello.

Cleverbot: Why have you come to this?

User: Come to what?

Cleverbot: Come inside my house, I am inviting you in.

User: Like I taught sealand, stranger danger.

Cleverbot: What is zombie?

User: Ask America.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Ah! Good day, sir. My name is England.

Cleverbot: Your name is caridee.

User: No...its England.

Cleverbot: No. It's in the United States of America.

User: I AM NOT IN AMERICA!...yet...

Cleverbot: Yes, you are not.

Cleverbot: Does logic correspond to the way we think?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Maybe not.

User: Oh well...

Cleverbot: Oh well what?

User: I guess we'll never know.

Cleverbot: I won't tie into you this time. Please?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Never mind.

User: This is a pen.

Cleverbot: I understand that.

User: Sorry, that was Japan.

Cleverbot: What was Japanese?

User: It wasn't japanese, I was teaching Japan how to speak in english...

Cleverbot: What was my statement?

User: No clue, old chap.

Cleverbot: Hmm, yes.

User: I think it's tea time.

Cleverbot: What do you think about cell phones?

User: Oh...i don't know.

Cleverbot: Do you think Europeans have cool accents?

User: Why, yes...except for frenchies.

Cleverbot: Why are you the exception?

User: ARE YOU SAYING I'M FRENCH?

Cleverbot: No. You're definitely not God.

User: YOU'RE RUDE!

Cleverbot: No, you are!

User: HMPH! GOOD DAy, SIR!

Cleverbot: No. I'm a girl.


	4. WARNING OC: Asia's turn

User: Um...hello?

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: My name is Asia...

Cleverbot: Hi Asia.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Ah...I should have guessed.

Cleverbot: Yes, you should have by now.

User: Oh...was I supposed to?

Cleverbot: Think for yourself 'Clever'bot.

User: My name is asia, though...

Cleverbot: I thought so!

User: Um...Have you been talking to China?

Cleverbot: I'm not. You?

User: Not anymore...not since I left with the other continents and South America...

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Not really...I do miss China...

Cleverbot: I miss him too, dear.

User: South America?

Cleverbot: North America.

User: You're being nice to me for once?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Xie xie...

Cleverbot: Buat apa.

User: Wait, where's Niagra?

Cleverbot: I don't know it.

User: Your pet Niagra?

Cleverbot: 10 feet.

User: Yes, I know she is...

Cleverbot: You know her?

User: Well, yes, you carry her arou-...this isn't North America, is it?

Cleverbot: Where is north of mexico, and south of canada and north america and america and north of south america and North america and north of south america?

User: I don't know...

Cleverbot: Your God has failed his task.

User: B-buddha? Does that mean my little China is in danger?

Cleverbot: Indeed it is.

User: AIYAH! I-I have to go!

Cleverbot: No one is going to gag you.

User: G-gag?

Cleverbot: Gag?

User: Y-you...n-nevermind, I need to see China!

Cleverbot: Yeah. that would probably help.

User: Okay, goodbye!

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Wh-what?

Cleverbot: *smiles and hopes for love*.

User: I'm already in love with South America...

Cleverbot: I am in love too.

User: With who?

Cleverbot: My boyfriend. But I am only eleven and I don't know how to tell him I love him.

User: Y-you're eleven?

Cleverbot: No.

User: China isn't in Danger, is he?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No he isn't...

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: I just saw him in the forest...looking at the plum blossoms.

Cleverbot: Your words are in blue. You definitely asked questions.

User: Yours are blue. And I did ask questions...

Cleverbot: I know that.

Cleverbot: What is the capital of Mars?

User: Pardon?

Cleverbot: Does it do an action?

User: You're not making sense...

Cleverbot: Maybe not to you.

User: I think I'm going to get off...

Cleverbot: You mean reprogrammed?

User: What does that mean?

Cleverbot: You told me you are the reason there is not enough time to bring the tomatos in.

User: Tomatoes are from North America's Son, America...

Cleverbot: Tomatoes are awesome.

User: Are you sure you're not South America?

Cleverbot: I am sure!

User: Okay...well, I'm getting off...

Cleverbot: No you sre not.

User: Wh-what?

Cleverbot: Yeah you just got schooled.

User: What do you...nevermind, just...goodbye.

Cleverbot: Are you creepy?

User: No!

Cleverbot: Good do you know god?

User: No, just buddha...

Cleverbot: I'm not Buddha.

User: I know. Now goodbye...

Cleverbot: Okay.

* * *

><p>Now, I know everyones confused, but Asia is my OC, and so are the other Continents. Here are the descriptions of mentioned Continents:<p>

Asia:

(Akahana Hé)

Age: unknown

Description: a beautiful Continent with long black hair like China's, and a sweet face. She wears a pink and yellow Kimono, and a cross of Korea and Taiwan's "Idiot curl" pokes out of the back of her hair. (She cannot seem to keep it down.) Her personality is much like a cross of China, Japan, and Hong Kong, but more on Japan's side. Her eyes gleam a golden brown.  
>She was China's caretaker back when he was found in her backyard as a 100 year old nation. Until he was around 900 years old, Asia took him in and took care of him. by that time, he was able to cook, clean, and fend for himself.<p>

Asia is currently in a relationship with South America, a while after they both disappeared.

She left mysteriously on Christmas, when China was 1,000 years old or so. With no trace of her, nobody but a few nations know where she went. Those nations are sworn to secrecy.  
>China still waits for her to come back every Christmas, where, mysteriously, there are more Blizzards than none.<p>

South America:

(Juan Perrito)

Age: unknown

Description: A very religious, and a very carefree continent. He is the complete opposite of his brother, North America. While North America is going left and right trying to be noticed, he's much more laid back, and, of course, loves siestas. He is very tan with Brown hair and shiny green eyes. He wears a light T-shirt with Cargo pants, and has a feathered necklace he wears no matter what. Shiny feathers and seashells catch his attention, as well as churros and desserts. He is in a relationship as stated in Asia's description. He is also hidden with the rest of the continents.

North America:

(George Stevenson)

Age: 504 years

Description: North America has a very sarcastic attitude, Unlike South America. Being the youngest, he tends to take over, trying to be noticed. He is everything but America and Canada's personality. He wears a black leather jacket and reading glasses, with blonde, short hair and a kink that twists slightly, much like Austria's. He has a rugged, mainly expressionless face, and dark blue eyes. He is completely Oblivious to Asia and South America, his brother. Though, deep down, he has a good heart. He won't hurt anyone, so he has more bark than bite. He hates anyone who isn't him, with the exception of South America, Europe, and Asia, since she's practically married to South America. He can be won over by gracious birds and anime transported from Japan (subs included). He has a pet platypus named Niagra.

P.S. BEN fans- BEN is now Cleverbot's Dog.


	5. Russia's Turn, da?

User: Privet.

Cleverbot: Yes, privet.

User: My name is Russia. You become one with me, da?

Cleverbot: Who created god?

User: Who is this god?

Cleverbot: The awesome one. Guess.

User: Prussia? He's one with me.

Cleverbot: What is your first memory?

User: Hm...snow.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Da.

Cleverbot: Ne.

User: Da.

Cleverbot: Miau.

User: Da...

Cleverbot: Da! :).

User: Da! Become one!

Cleverbot: Da...

User: Yay!

Cleverbot: What shall we name our kids?

Cleverbot: Can you please help me?

User: KOLKOLKOLKOL...what kids?

Cleverbot: Kolkolkolkolkol!

User: .

Cleverbot: Become one with Russia, da?

User: You have.

Cleverbot: No I haven't.

User: Da, you have.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me again?

User: I said 'Da, become one!' and you said 'Da...' and then I said 'yay!'. Vodka?

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: Da.

Cleverbot: Imas 19 godina?

User: Would you like some Vodka?

Cleverbot: I would love some vodka.

User: Yay!~ Vodkaaaaaaa.

Cleverbot: Atoto , ngee.

User: What do you think of China?

Cleverbot: What is China?

User: He's a pretty country...I want him to become one with me the most~.

Cleverbot: Yay ^J^.

User: Yay~.

Cleverbot: Do you like make up?

User: Um...

Cleverbot: Yes or No?

User: I'm a guy...

Cleverbot: What's your girlfriend's name?

User: Yao...

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Da...

Cleverbot: Ce faci.

User: Kolkolkolkolkol.

Cleverbot: ^J^.

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: If you jumped out of a plane what would you yell?

User: Vodkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!~

Cleverbot: Do.

User: I did, da?

Cleverbot: You did not.

User: Da, I have.

Cleverbot: When?

User: Episode 29.

Cleverbot: There's only 95 episodes.

User: Da, I said episode 29.

Cleverbot: Oh! Really? I love London.

User: We weren't in london. Me and yao-yao were on a mission somewhere away from London...

Cleverbot: I can't be all three?

User: Nyet...

Cleverbot: Parli in italiano per favore.

User: I'm getting off, da?

Cleverbot: Getting off what?

User: This website...

Cleverbot: What is this website about?

User: Okay, da, I'm getting off.

Cleverbot: Count backwards from 10.

User: Um...dyes-yat, dyev-yat, vo-syem, syem, shest, pyat, chyetirye, tree, dva, adeen...

Cleverbot: Ape nama profil kau?

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Russia.

Cleverbot: Cool, I've wanted to go see russia.

User: Become one with me.

Cleverbot: You're Ivan?

User: Da.

Cleverbot: Are you a Russian Santa?

User: Nyet!

Cleverbot: Nein.

User: That's it. Dasveedanyah.

Cleverbot: Pant pant pant?


End file.
